The beach thingy instant beach chair is a chunk of plastic formed to the shape of a chair backing that you stab into the sand and can lean your back against it while you are sitting in the sand. Unfortunately for yourself the prongs can not penetrate far enough into the earth to hold the … Read more
I won’t make a joke about how these rings resemble your mother’s jewelery, or how she would need to use all 5 of these rings to say afloat, just as long as you acknowledge that your mother is fat. Now that we are past that… The blow up ring toss game is great for having … Read more
Bring booze to the beach without getting caught by those pesky beach cops, hide your liquor inside your sunscreen lotion bottle. The Sunscreen flask holds 8oz of your favorite alcohol, so be sure to purchase 10-20 of these depending on how far along you are with your alcoholism. Great for beaches, pools, concerts, cruises, and … Read more
The Follow Me Bring Beer flip flops have text on the bottom of the sandals that imprint words in the sand as you walk. These sandals are a great way to get a laugh at the beach, or attract a new stalker. The bring beer sandals are constructed from 4 layers of comfortable EVA foam, and … Read more
Reaching up to 100 feet of distance from the base, and withstanding depths of up to 3 feet, this battery operated floating pool speaker will pump your jam using any mp3 player, phone, tablet, or laptop… Just don’t turn it too loud, your neighbors may call the police when they see a grown man swimming … Read more
There are two reasons anyone would ever need to use this camera lens. 1.) When you are secretly attempting to collect and report information on a subject. 2.) When you want to creepily take pictures of girls in their bikinis at the beach. I’m not here to judge, but odd’s are you using it for … Read more
Become Jesus with the WaterMat and walk on water. The Watermat allows up to 1,200lbs of fatness to stand upon it’s 6′ x 18′ rubbery goodness. The 1.25” thick WaterMat is easily transported when rolled up and only weights 30lbs.
Take your dog out to the beach on a hot sunny day without having to worry about them going blind from staring into the sun, when you’re lounging away on a towel, reading a book, with your nice tinted sunglasses. You’re just so damn selfish sometimes. Or maybe you want to take your dog on … Read more
The Insta Kilt Beach towel measures in at 30” x 60” and comes in red or green. Once you wrap the towel around you it makes you appear to be wearing a kilt, how clever… It is not recommended to wear any articles of clothing underneath the kilt.
The Darkfin gloves are flipper gloves that make your fingers webbed. The gloves increase your water surface area by 70% and are perfect for snorkeling, scuba diving, sufing, competitive swimming, or for people just learning how to swim. The webbed finger gloves are made from one piece of latex as to have no uncomfortable seams, … Read more