Breakfast Sandwich Maker

As if your kitchen needed another appliance that you never use, the breakfast sandwich making machine will change your life for the worse, as the pounds pack on, the double chin arises, and your man boobs get a little more jiggle when you giggle. A year after purchasing your breakfast sandwich maker machine you will … Read more

Morning Head Hair Cap

You’ve woken up in a puddle of your own fecal, your mouth tastes like cottage cheese and pubic hairs, there are two naked men beside you, you feel violated, insecure, deathly ill, and a little curious about your sexuality. You have to work in 10 minutes, your hair is filled with poop juice, urine, and … Read more

Giant Flask Holds 1 Gallon Of Booze

Although the giant flask kind of defeats the purpose of carrying around a flask, the sasquatch flask as it is called can hold a whopping 128oz of your favorite booze to sneak haul into the next sporting event you attend, assuming you have a backpack wheelbarrow, and they don’t look into it. The giant flask … Read more