Military Grade Battle Mug

Chiseled from a solid block of 6061 T6 billet aluminum the Military Grade Battle Mug is allowed only in the manliest of hands that possess 13 hairs per knuckle, no shorter than 4.3mm. The Battle Mug is manufactured in a facility that produces special equipment for NASA, the US Department of Defense, major weapons companies, … Read more

Mosquito Repellent Incense Sticks

Why are scientists still busying themselves curing cancer, curing aids, and creating seedless watermelons, when there are mosquitoes pestering everyone worldwide. The mosquito repellent incense sticks are bamboo sticks infused with citronella lemongrass, and rosemary, which is basically everything that mosquitoes hate. To use the mosquito repellent sticks, just light up a few of them around you … Read more

Back Massaging Robot

Sometimes it’s hard to get a back massage. I mean no wants to touch your back when it’s constantly sweaty. I mean, why do you start sweating while you read? Plus, the amount of hair on your back alone could create a 12 pack of fake Pakistani novelty beards. Luckily, there’s a robot that doesn’t care what … Read more

Shock Ball Hot Potato

Shock Ball Hot Potato is a game you should most likely play while in a state of inebriation where you pass the ball back and forth in a group of people until a timer runs out and shocks whoever is left holding the shock ball. When playing in a group, be sure to constantly pass … Read more

Pixelated Oven Mitts

The pixel oven mitts are oven gloves that appear to be from some odd dimension where a mustachioed plumber runs around and hits bricks with his head. The 8-bit pixelated oven mitts assist you in picking up hot plates, bowls, platters, casseroles, and dishes, but unfortunately not chicks, you will first have to shave the neck … Read more

Butterfly Knife Style Pen

Sometimes someone hands you a document that is so important that you just need to sign it in the most flamboyant, glamorous, and elaborate way possible. Using the butterfly knife pen is similar to saying a catchphrase as you slowly put on your sunglasses, instead as you’re about to sign a document, you slowly take … Read more