Make your baby be the baddest of asses amongst his “friends” that he gets placed next to at daycare, let him show the bitches at daycare who takes care of business and tells that nanny when nap time is, let the rest of the babies know where to get your black market mid-afternoon snacks that … Read more
The Piggyback rider is a harness that you strap on to your back so that it’s easier for you to give your fat child a piggy back. Your son is too lazy to walk, you’ve fed him too many cheeseburgers, why would he ever walk anywhere knowing that you have a harness attached to your … Read more
Lets face it, you are a lazy son of a bitch, and on the rare occurrence that you are around your child, you’re certainly not going to want to be holding a bottle to their face when you could be napping, playing video games, or eating cocktail weiners. Just throw your ugly child into the … Read more
The baby pacifier thermometer is a baby pacifier that you can use to take your babies temperature. Is your baby crying for no reason? Have you tried feeding your baby? If not you should try that first. Your baby is still crying? Have you tried sticking an object up their butt to take their temperature? … Read more
The input/output baby onsie lets you, your guests and your baby know what holes are for what. The mouth takes in the food, and the butt explodes in an output of toxic gases and dark fluids that once belonged in a boob. You’ve had a baby, and your life is now terrible, there is nothing … Read more
The Kidaddle baby stroller hand warmer is a long hand muff designed to attach right to the strollers handle so that when you are on a walk in the frigid cold with your newborn, the most important thing to worry about, your hands, are kept warm. When you just don’t feel like wearing gloves or … Read more
The Ouchlet Band Aids are Oulet Covers that are a great way to let your child know that if you touch this outlet or stick anything inside of it, you will receive a beating, and therefore need a band aid to cover your wound. It’s also a nice way to protect your dog from being … Read more
The branch holder is a small strip of rubber that you can attach to any stick you find in the woods and turn it into a sword. Just attach the branch holder to the bottom of the stick and it will form a makeshift hand guard for your stick sword, and will protect their knuckles … Read more
The bicycle baby stoller is a bike and baby stroller combo where you strap your baby into the front of the bicycle and use your child as a safety device so that incase you were to get into a bicycle accident, you will not be harmed and your child will serve as something similar to … Read more
The dog hot dog slicer is a container you stick your weiner into and it will slice it up for easy consumption by children, and it’s fun to use since it’s shaped like a weiner dog and all… The dog shaped hot dog slicer cuts fun bit-size slices of hot dog, fits most standard sized … Read more