Reserved Beach Towel

Reserve your spot on the beach while you take a dump at the outhouse without coming back to some human manatee squating on your beach lounge chair by using the Reserved Beach Towel. The Reserved Beach Towel is a beach towel that has big black bold text on it that says RESERVED on it, with … Read more

Taxi Mittens

In case you have a hard time hailing a taxi, the taxi mittens will assist you in your cab getting duties if your taxi driver has the eyes of an eagle. The taxi mittens are bright yellow and have the word taxi written down the inside of the palm so that when you need a … Read more

Hairy Hobbit Feet Slippers

Pefect when worn with the Hairy Legs Stockings, the hairy feet slippers are a pair of plush slippers that make it look like you have hobbit feet, and will help distract people from how hairy your knuckles are and how they drag on the floor when you walk. The hairy hobbit feet slippers are for … Read more

White Castle Hamburger Scented Candle

There’s nothing quite like taking a drunken trip to White Castle at 3 in the morning, walking through the drive-thru and ordering a crave-case that contains 30 hamburgers for you and your two friends to consume until you fall asleep with a hamburger in each hand, and wake up with soiled underpants, and the sweet … Read more

Ask Me Why I’m Lazy Sloth Shirt

It’s a fact that no one hates a sloth, they’re cute, they’re weird, they’re lazy, and they’re awesome. The Ask Me Why I’m Lazy shirt is a t-shirt with the aforementioned text on the front, and once someone reads your shirt you are supposed to flop the front of your shirt over your head like … Read more